Nine of Ten: Taxidermia

Real men ejaculate fire!

     Let me say this now. I know so very little about foreign cultures/politics/histories that that aspect of movies goes clean over my head (you'll understand more with my number one movie). This perplexing feature, born in Hungary, is quite a strange tale. Sure, I might have understood a bit more of it had I freshened up on Hungarian culture, but surrealism is universal.
      The story is quite simple to follow. While most sources will tell you that it is the story of three men, I would argue that it's the story of one man, Balatony Kálmán. To understand one man, you must know where he came from (his father), and where he is going (his son). 
     Told in three chapters, Taxidermia begins with Morosgoványi Vendel, a poor soldier condemned to living and serving with his lieutenant and said lieutenant's family at some Hungarian military outpost in the middle of nowhere.
     Vendel is a man of many sexual desires, stemming from his sexual frustration (if that is even near the correct word?!). He is surrounded by three women: his lieutenant's wife and innocent (pft, I guess) two daughters. I really don't want to give away how he lets some steam out to lower the pressure (save for fire shooting out of his junk, as seen in pictured poster). I will say that the best part of this entire chapter is the bathtub. Seriously, watch it and understand. The scene is brilliant.

This bathtub has lived a crazier life than I have.

He ends up impregnating..well, I'll let you figure it out, but he impregnates someone (or something) creating our main character, Balatony Kálmán. Begin chapter two.
     The peak of Balatony's life! He is a Hungarian speed-eating champion who falls in love with some fat chick, and they have fat sex, and it's just fat love. It's great! This chapter is very sweet and heartfelt. There isn't much to say other than there is a lot of vomit (Tosh.0 would have a blast with this movie) in this chapter. As someone who cracks up every time she vomits, I found this chapter hilarious, bright, and fun. It's sweet and romantic, which was a nice counter to the cold, dreary hell that is the first chapter.

Whatever, uh, floats your boat, right?

     The final chapter is Balatony as a father. This is the strangest chapter of the three, concluding this frightful yet delightful journey of this Balatony's life. Balatony is long past the speed-eating days (and his body really shows it) and lives with his son, Lajoska, a taxidermist. Why this character win's the title role is beyond me, but a lot of things in this movie are very far beyond my limits. Since this chapter is the most bizarre part of this film, I'm going to leave you to watch it.
     So, how about that review? That was a lot of plot, and not a lot of thought. Sorry about that. The reason why this movie made my top ten was because it is the one movie that I have watched and thought it was both bizarre and good. Nine out of ten times, a movie CANNOT be both. When it reaches the bizarre levels that Taxidermia has, I just hate it. Examples would be Jacques Tati's Playtime, and David Lynch's Eraserhead. I hate those movies. I actually hate those movies, and I want those hours back. Taxidermia, on the other hand, I have seen at least five times and still enjoy it. Even the last scene. Actually, especially the last scene. Lajoska has quite the set of balls.